I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize