I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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