I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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