she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize