dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
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why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
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Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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