Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
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He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
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Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
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