I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
i am craving dick and cupcakes
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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