I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
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The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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