Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Enjoy the penises
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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