They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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