I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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