I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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