weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
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