i may or may not be watching the land before time
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
this is an emotional support booty call
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
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