You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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