Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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