We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
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