you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize