By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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