Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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