We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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