Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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