Three words: puerto rican gang bang
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
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I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
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I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
FUCK WHALES
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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