Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
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I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
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I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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