what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize