Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
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just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
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The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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