Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
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This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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