I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize