in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
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Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
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Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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