I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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