I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
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The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
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My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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