just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I need to calm my uterus...
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize