Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize