Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize