i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize