..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize