Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
youre lurking in front of me
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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