You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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