Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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