3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize