Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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