OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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