Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize