you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize