Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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