this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize