I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
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He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
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He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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