Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
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