Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
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He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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