I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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