walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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